She’s gone off the boil, has Nigella. The Kitchen Goddess hasn’t been seen on our screens since her bout of bad publicity – she wasn’t the last to find out not all is sweetness and light marrying a sugar daddy.

I also love Poh, but she’s not exactly the goddess variety for all her talents and charm – so who to replace the voluptuous, sumptuously sensual Nigella? I needn’t have worried – someone has come along. She’s a real gem, is Ms Rachel Khoo. Now her first series, admittedly, didn’t really have much of an effect on me – NL was still being beamed in. I watched a few episodes of Rachel and it was a novel idea, but little else so I decamped. The idea? A Brit cooking up a storm in a tiny Parisian garret for pernickety French foodies seated in her pop-up restaurant for two. And to add a bit of drama, she only has only a couple of gas rings to work with. It became all the rage in the City of Love. To attain a place at the minuscule eatery was of great social cachet. Seizing her chance, she spruiked it as a book, with its stunning popularity leading to the tele show, ‘The Little Paris Kitchen’. This was followed up with another publication, ‘My Little French Kitchen’.

But she didn’t grab me then. Missing Nigella, when “Rachel Khoo’s Kitchen Notebook – Cosmopolitan Cook’ appeared on SBS’s listings back in April, I tuned in to give her another go. She certainly grabbed me this time. Goodbye Nigella.

Ms Khoo is no overnight sensation. Her success is based on general talent and an ability to self promote, as well as a soupçon of luck, as much as her culinary qualifications. Her looks have not hampered her either. Her initial training was in artistic design – thus her attractive illustrations in her ‘Notebooks’. As well as the series I watched, there’s ones on London and Malaysia in the pipeline. Hopefully SBS will do the right thing. Why Malaysia? Well her exotic appearance is down to a Malay-Chinese father and an Austrian mother – she was bought up in a London suburb. There’s also a whisper that she may be on her way to Oz for a season, given her popularity here.

At some stage our ‘new Nigella’ decided to combine her design talents with her love of tucker and devote her life to that. With six hundred quid in her pocket she set herself up in Paris, underwent training at the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu, worked as an au pair, behind a perfume counter and ran bakery workshops. Then she took a chance. One day she walked into the offices of Penguin in Paris and hawked her idea for a book based around home made muesli bars. And now, seeing her in her latest small screen offering, who wouldn’t be charmed by her? The honchos at the publishing house certainly were and she was on her way.

‘The Little Paris Kitchen’ hit a nerve in the UK, drawing in over a million and a half viewers per episode, but it was the ‘Cosmopolitan Cook’ that made me a fan.

Garbed in her trademark retro vibe, with thirty-something Ms Khoo there’s none of the overt lasciviousness of the original Goddess in her shtick. She is reported to have mused that she was unsure whether the great Nigella was all that wonderful an advertisement for women in the kitchen. I’ll hedge my bets on that one. For me, as with Nigella – it’s partly in the lips coated in bright hues, the fullness of the curves, but mostly in the eyes – always the eyes – that has me glued. There are the recipes too.

This latest show was also just so sunshine-y. Our charming host took me to such culinary meccas as Provence, Istanbul, the Amalfi Coast and Barcelona. To vary this southerness a tad there were also excursions to Nordic regions. What Rachel K ascertained in these locales she tweaked back in her small London flat in order to present lip-smackingly creative meals for an assortment of mates.

Thanks to Ms Khoo I no longer yearn for more doses of the other one – but if they happen to appear they won’t be ignored by me. But now for this ageing appreciator of all that’s good that comes out of a kitchen, Rachel Khoo is one to savour.

Ms Khoo’s website = http://www.rachelkhoo.com/

She’s beautiful, has the most infectious guffaw on television and loves being ordinary. But, to her fans, she’s anything but – am I’m included in that bunch.

‘Poh and Co’ introduced me to much I didn’t know about not the winner of of 2009’s series of MasterChef – the most watched single episode of any small screen series during the noughties. This, I guess, says something about the prominence of tucker in the national consciousness and the ‘taste’ of the Australian viewing public. Competitive cooking has become a staple of the networks’ infatuation with the reality genre in this country. I have refrained from watching any of them – partly, I suspect, from fear of getting sucked in along with the masses. No, I am far more comfortable with the less frenetic fare put our way by SBS and it’s rota of not-so-celebrity cooks – Peter Kuruvita, Adam Liaw, Luke Nguyen and so on. When the big guns come on, like the King of Cornwall, Rick Stein, or Antonio Carlucco, I am up for that too. Many of these also take us to exotic locales, cooking on beaches, in primitive villages, in rainforests and on mountain passes. But Poh is over all that – been there, done that. Her latest offering takes her not too far away from her Adelaidean suburban abode. ‘Poh and Co’ charts the course of some garden renovations under- taken by hubby Jono, together with a bevy of family and friends, not to mention two cute pooches. They’re an eclectic lot as one would expect from our multicultural, hipster society of today. All are either competent with a pitchfork and shovel or on the culinary front. The latter group’s job is to keep the troops fed with easy to be assembled tucker from easily accessible ingredients – or to distract Poh from the task at hand.

It’s a simple premise, free of the manufactured in-fighting and crises over a poorly poached egg so central to the big cooking behemoths of commercial television. Jono is a natural – and it was on the set of that MasterChef series that their eyes first locked on to each other. He’s a knockabout lad, flexible enough to put up with wifely whims and the peculiar hours she keeps. The others that feature are an immensely likeable bunch – so its easy to see the reason for Poh’s reluctance these days to stray too far from the embrace of kith and kin.

‘Poh and Co’ also highlights the host’s artistic leanings – prior to MasterChef these were her major claim to fame. They, until recently, faded into the background after Auntie snavelled up her potential and formed ‘Poh’s Kitchen’ around her skills with edibles and her winning personality. Being so thoroughly in her thrall, I can’t help but like what she produces with this other expertise once she has a paintbrush in her hand. Some may feel her figurative style is far too cutesy to be taken seriously, but she is garnering some amount of success and is a regular exhibitor on the South Australian art scene. And what she did with those annoying dints in her metallic grey fridge was a revelation. Something was peeing her off, so she thought outside the box and came up with a solution – albeit a labour intensive one.

‘Poh and Co’ has finished its run now but no doubt, if you missed it, it would be out on DVD. I am hoping, in conjunction with SBS, Poh Ling Yeow Bennett will soon come back to grace our living rooms with a similar low-key project. Long may she remain on our screens.

Website for Poh’s art  =  http://pohlingyeow.com/

‘We get along quite well, but the thing was we all knew what we were in for and the fact we were all going to be in close quarters. No one really pushed anyone’s buttons. We know we can wind each other up, but the fact is, being on a boat, you just can’t walk away, you’re stuck there.’ Thus relayed Ross in a recent interview piece for the Fairfax Press. In fact, it turns out, after watching the series, small of stature Ross was often the on the receiving end of good-natured joshing from his bigger crew mates – barrel-chested Nick and tall, gangly Matthew. He had a thick skin – the jovial jibes flew off his hide. The only tense moment was when Ross announced on Cape Barren he was off to shoot the game they would be devouring that evening for tea. Paddock to plate is one thing, but going out into the scrub and actually slaughtering it is another. But this was only a minor divergence of opinion, the other two scoffing down his bag of wild duck, goose and wallaby readily enough.

SBS has described the trio of seasons of ‘Gourmet Farmer’ as a developing diary of the bromance between the three foodies, but in the fourth, where the word ‘Afloat’ is added, Ross is correct, there was no escape from each other. Ross (O’Meara) and Nick (Haddow) reside on Bruny Island, up to their necks in pork (Ross) and cheese (Nick). The latter’s product is excellent – if you ever have cause to cross on the ferry to their domain, get to his cheesery and try some. Their island off an island, for decades, remained undiscovered by non-Taswegians, but these days its reputation is spreading. The two ferries crossing the Channel during the summer months have trouble keeping up with demand.

Matthew Evans lives on the mainland within sight of his two mates just across the water. He is a former Sydney restaurant critic turned gentleman farmer just outside the idyllic village of Cygnet. Up to this point he has been the face of the popular, as SBS goes, programme – but his two cobbers are television naturals and are quickly catching up. ‘Gournet Farmer Afloat’ is definitely a three-hander – or even four, if skipper Garth Wigston is counted. He’s the master of the Solquest, the vessel bringing the premise of an anti-clockwise circumnavigation of Tasmania to fruition. The resulting six hour-long episodes are an eye-opener as the lads retrace the sailing steps of the early explorers – Tasman, Baudin, Flinders, Freycinet, Kelly et al. It’s great boys-own stuff.

These episodes delve heavily into the history, indigenous and non-indigenous. It also looks at the produce of the island, both from the briny and the soil. After all, it is pretty special with our isle having the world’s freshest rainwater and purest air, I actually thought I knew the back story fairly well and I did, although I enjoyed their fresh take on it all. There were a few gems that surprised me, including the nugget that there is strong evidence that Bass and Flinders became lovers, possibly due to those extra-close quarters they had to endure, in the process of proving there was a Strait separating us from our Victorian neighbours. There is no evidence that any of this sort of thing occurred on the Solquest though.

Eggs. I’ve often wondered about the eggs. Out front of our abode on the river are hundreds, maybe even a thousand or two, of black swan. Come spring it’s a joy to see their numbers multiply by an equivalent number of cygnets. As lovely as that image is, there is the thought that all that new life must have emerged from eggs. So there is a possibility of a wonderful food source in the reed banks all along the Derwent – explaining the number of copperheads and raptors that thrive hereabouts. The three gourmands on Solquest possibly had a similar idea, probably lubricated by one or two of the couple of hundred bottles of wine they had on board with them. When they reached Moulting Lagoon up on the East Coast – a place with a similar abundance of aquatic avifauna – they put that notion to the test when Ross was presented with a swan egg. He made a pork omelette with it and the trio pronounced the result most flavoursome tucker. Swan eggs for brekky? Why on earth not?

The series is choc full of culinary treats that the lads prepared on board, on beaches or, occasionally, in the restaurants of ports they tied up in. At the final destination, Hobs, this all culminated in a grand feast at Government House for all those who participated in the project. It featured the best of Tassie produce, influenced by what they discovered during their epic adventure. It was hilarious watching the boys get lost in the vice-royal pile as they tried to find the shortest route from kitchen to a dining room that has seated royalty. This last episode is dedicated to our island’s beloved and gregarious former Governor who passed away soon after that event.

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing my beguiling island from the perspective of the sea that surrounds it. It all reminded me how lucky I am to be an inhabitant of such a place. You would be mesmerised too, dear reader. With Matthew, Ross and Nick as your guide, be taken to such magic locales as Bruny’s Adventure Bay, Stanley’s Cable Station Restaurant, the indigenously owned Cape Barren Island and on to the wild and rugged West Coast, with its Macquarie Harbour and Port Davey. Feel the tension as the Solquest attempts to surf the notorious bar at St Helens or squeeze its way in through Hells Gates. A highlight for me was seeing our crew visit the first vegie patch established by Europeans on our shores well before white settlement – the French Garden at Recherche Bay. One of our hosts suggested that the island’s history may have been entirely different had this nationality established colonisation first with their more benign view of the native population. Another high point was when Ross and co tried their luck trawling deep for arguably the most flavoursome of all piscatorial delights, the mighty stripy trumpeter. All in all the boys had a ball and entertained us mightily. It is all available on DVD now.

Associated with this is a new cookbook on the market. Although it contains photos from the expedition, the recipes featured are not those from the circumnavigation. They can be discovered on-line. No, ‘The Gourmet farmer Goes Fishing’ features more the means to cook the species of fish caught recreationally around our coast. I traipsed off to its launch at Fullers a few weeks back, thoroughly relishing the bonhomie that these three, when they get together, create. Some of their culinary fare was available to sample and the large crowd gathered were regaled with tales – some true, some tall – of their adventurings. Fullers pronounced it their most popular event ever, saying something for how these guys are working their way into the consciousness of all of us who love our paradise in the southern seas. They do our assets proud by bringing them to the attention of a wide audience through their offerings on the small screen.

Ross’ newspaper interview = http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/gourmet-farmer-afloat-tight-space-tests-friendships-20150209-139jyc.html

‘What a year its been for the dedicated television watcher.’ And so commenced the Age’s assessment of the year on the small screen – ‘The Couch Potato Awards’. The former broadsheet’s list of the gong-worthy is put together category by category, lauding a single selection in each. Stand-outs included ‘The Devil’s Playground’ in Best Local Drama, ‘True Detective’ in the equivalent Overseas Drama just to cite a couple. It assessed the ABC’s feisty Sarah Ferguson as the person having his/her best year in the medium, with the 10 Network having its worst.

A personal consideration of the year’s best, under the Green Guide format, is not possible for this punter as I would have to pass on so many genres. I would not have the slightest inkling on the Best Pre-schoolers – although this may change as my adored granddaughter becomes more television savvy – Best Competition Reality or Dog of the Year. If you’re interested, the latter was Seven’s ‘Lazy and Driving Us Crazy’ – whatever that may have been! No, the Blue Room’s unembellished list is in countdown format, with a few HMs (Honourable Mentions) and GPs (Guilty Pleasures) to round them out.

So, Coming in at No.10 – Hello Birdy – a gem hidden away in last summer’s ABC rota. Unheralded in the silly season, it was worth watching just to see William McInnes simulate sex with an emu.

09 – Italy (and Sicily) Unpacked – part of SBS’s selection of excellent culinary themed shows, this breaks from the norm and includes cultural perspectives as well. Equal with Yotam Ottolenghi’s Mediterranean Feast – simply yum!

08 – The Agony of Modern Manners – this offshoot of the Zwar franchise is perhaps tele at its simplest – just talking heads in conversation with Andrew Z and the viewer. It charms and beguiles as we get to know intimately some delightful personalities.

07 – DCI Banks – remember how we wept back in the day when the parish priest lost his Assumpta in the magic Ballykissangel. Well that parish priest is a very different kettle of fish these days in this top notch police procedural.

06 – Kitchen Cabinet – humanises pollies – although I notice Scott Morrison has yet to achieve a guernsey. I have no doubt it would take more than the sassy Annabel – irresistible to males of certain years – to make that odious man unbend an iota.

05 – Brilliant Creatures – another time, another place – but, my, how those Aussie expats shook up the status quo.

04 – The Escape Artist – not quite to the standard of last year’s ‘Broadchurch’, but David Tennant continues to reign supreme.

03 – Fargo – off the radar weird – what on earth is going on? And nobody does this type of weird better than Billy Bob!
02 – Happy Valley – a bravura performance from Sarah Lancashire as she gritted her teeth to bring that right royal bastard down.

01 – True Detective – From the other side of the Atlantic, this was 2014’s ‘Broadchurch’. Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson gave stellar performances and kept us guessing from get go to blazing finale. Roll on Season Two and ignore the naysayers who diss it.

HMs – Janet King, Silk, Billy Connolly’s Big Send Off, Utopia, Vikings, A Country Road – the Nationals, Old Dogs, The Fall, Borgen, Time of Our Lives, A Place to Call Home.
GPs – House Husbands, Downton Abbey, Mr Selfridge.

The ‘Green Guide’s Couch Potato Awards = http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/the-best-and-worst-shows-of-2014-20141208-1213rr.html

I love Tiger. I am her doting grandfather. I freely admit I am besotted by the little mite, my daughter’s daughter. Her spirit, her brave-heartedness and her charm combine to ensure she is just simply adored by this old man. Of course Tiger is not her given name – and I have written before of the reasons our Tessa has been given that sobriquet – the appellation most now know her by. But this piece is not about her. It concerns another Tiger, one I delved back into the historical ether to discover more about. What I found was a remarkable woman – remarkable even when measured against the mores of any time, let alone the turbulent period she lived through. To meet her we need to travel back to when the Borgias were casting their spell over the Italian peninsula.

And, essentially, that’s where I first encountered this tigress, on the eponymous television series. It starred an actor I never tire of watching, Jeremy Irons. It ran for three series, but needed another to fully tell its tale. But a fourth instalment was not meant to be. In the telling we meet Pope Alexander VI (Rodrigo Borgia – Irons’ role), his son Cesare (François Arnaud) and daughter, the notorious Lucrezia (Holliday Grainger) – she comes off better in the show than she does in history. As well it features such notables of the time as Savonarola and Machiavelli. We also meet the amazing Caterina Sforza.

Born into wealthy Milanese nobility, but illegitimately so, in 1463, Caterina was nonetheless a welcome member of the Sforza family court through her childhood. She was educated, as was usual for the times, as per the boys of noble lineage. In other words, she had the classics, but was also taught the art of warfare and the skills required to govern. She also displayed her customary brave-heartedness from the get go. By her tenth year she was already wedded – although the marriage could not be consummated until she attained the age of consent, fourteen. Hubby number one – she had three – was reportedly the bastard son of Pope Sixtus IV. None of this celibacy nonsense in the Church of Rome back then that goes on today. Then they lustily got their rocks off with impunity and everybody was presumably happy – how much better off we’d be if that was the case in modern times. But I digress.

Marriage, of course, back then, was arranged amongst the upper classes for political or monetary gain. Soon after her vows became legal, Caterina did what was expected of her and she started producing offspring. The new mother and husband (Giralomo Riario) moved to the Eternal City and they soon found themselves at the centre of courtly proceedings and intrigue. Giralomo gave Caterina a stiff talking to and told her to keep her nose out of the men’s business, but she couldn’t help herself – still in her teens she became heartily embroiled.

All contemporary accounts remark on her allure as an extroverted and socially adventurous young woman. All were in thrall of her grace and beauty. Observe her portrait – was she not a Botticellian beauty? In fact, the artist used her likeness in a number of his works.

What first struck me, watching ‘The Borgias’, was the fact that this Renaissance femme fatale was played by an actress I am very partial to – Gina McKee – lately also seen on our small screens in ‘Secret State’. That started me wondering about the feisty, downright ballsy woman she portrayed. Was she historically accurate? From what I discovered, certainly the show’s writers played around with the facts somewhat, but history tells us she was every bit as courageous as the small screen saga would indicate. She could fight like a man, wore armour and would only take a backward step when she had absolutely no wriggle room. She was the amazing Amazon woman of her era.

Girolomo died prematurely, resulting in Caterina finding herself, through a combination of events too byzantine to go into here, in charge of the city state of Forli. It was small fry compared to powerful Venice, Milan, Florence and the Papal lands, but its location was strategic, so she became quite a central player in the charged world of Italian politics. The states squabbled, alliances were made and unmade, France invaded several times and Ms Sforza was up to her neck in it all. She personally took charge of the training of her army and it was during a spat with the Orsis family, who figured they had some claim to Forli, that her moment of infamy arose. Through another Machiavellian series of happenings, the Orsis lot had managed to take her children as hostage – the television series twists the story here somewhat. The youngsters were lined up in front of her battlements and were threatened with death if she did not surrender. When their supposed demise was imminent, Caterina hitched up her skirts, stood high afore all, pointed to her exposed genitalia and declared to the besieging forces –
‘Ho con me lo stampo per farne degli altri.’ – (‘I have the mold to make more.’)
Her enemy’s callous plot came immediately unstuck. She had successfully called their bluff and in the end she had the last laugh. Her kiddies duly survived, but Caterina’s vengeance on the Orsis clan was quite severe. She felt it was a strong enough message to put off any future threat to her dominion – but not so. In 1495 the thirty-two year old lost her beloved second husband (Giacoma Feo – a nasty piece of work by all accounts) in another attempt by her detractors to usurp her position. When it failed she pulled out all stops – slaughtering all whom she suspected – torturing them before execution – and that went for their wives and children as well. Torture them – exterminate them.

Life had given her a cruel streak and as a result she was never loved by the general populace – but she was totally respected.

By the end of the Fifteenth Century she had earnt the enmity of the Venetians, as well as the Borgias in their Papal palace. It was the ability of her self trained militia to defeat the former on the battlefield that she became known, throughout the length and breadth of the land, as ‘Il Tigre‘ – ‘The Tiger’ It couldn’t last though. Her little patch was invaded by Cesare Borgia and eventually she had to lower her ramparts to him – in more ways than one if the television take is to be believed. She was captured, but her bravery in standing up to her foes (by this time the French were also in the mix) was admired by all. As a result she didn’t suffer the ultimate price, but was allowed to retreat into a form of banishment with her children. She stayed under the radar for a while in Florence until, such was the labyrinthine nature of the times, the climate became suitable for a return to Forli. Unfortunately for our heroine the populace declared they would rise up in revolt if this occurred. They’d had more than enough of Il Tigre, so her plans were shelved. She saw out the remainder of her days quietly. In 1509 ‘The Tiger of Forli’ succumbed to pneumonia.

As for the representation of this Renaissance tale in ‘The Borgias’ itself? Well, it wasn’t a bad way to pass some time, for one is soon wrapped up in the Italianate intrigue presented. Season One lost me in places, but the remaining two were more accessible. Probably the damage had been done in the opening round and the story of the family, synonymous with putting power before anything else, didn’t have a final chapter. It would have been interesting to see how it all panned out, although it’s all revealed in Wikipedia. But through it I discovered a woman for the ages with a hell of a story – one who truly deserved the title worn by my own granddaughter – Tiger

Caterina in Art01= http://yelenacasale.blogspot.com.au/2013/11/friday-art-history-feature-caterina.html

Caterina in Art02= https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWgONBQrA8c

The Blue Room cannot resist a challenge of this nature – especially one where it involves making a list within an interest area. So when Age regular David Dale constructed his on the subject – well this blog just had to follow suit. There was no alternative – it was a given.

Compiling such lists as I do, particularly at the end of a calendar year, can be, in DD’s words, ‘…intensely painful, but deeply pleasurable’, especially when excruciating decisions have to be made. What DD was attempting to do was a response to an American publication’s (‘Entertainment Weekly’) top characters on television ‘right now’. That revered mag duly ruminated and ultimately made its considered and weighty pontification. The ‘right now’ is a loose term as the resulting product encompassed the last twelve months or so – as did DD in his contribution. Our local scribe went on to break his down, as I will, into two sections – International and Australian. It seems it is implicit that only one protagonist from each small screen show can put in an appearance, thus DD’s angst. His quandary was whether to include Arya Syark or Tyrion Lannister from the monolithic ‘Game of Thrones’. I also enjoy that juggernaut – but it does not figure for me as a vehicle for idiosyncratic character. No, my ponderings were between the two leads in ‘The Bridge’ – the Scandinoir version of course. In the end I went with the Sara Norgen role – mainly because her partner-in-crime (solving), Kim Bobnia, who plays Rohde, in this tele-gem, didn’t like what was to happen to his character in the third season, so pulled up stumps. It remains to be seen how Ms Helin copes without her sidekick.

So – in your opinion, does what the Blue Room has produced measure up to DD’s? What would you, dear peruser, add and delete? Those list-addicted, like myself, might try your own hand at such a compilation. For those who know me, the first few are givens:-

International

1. Don Draper                               Mad Men                              Jon Hamm
2. Hank Moody                            Californication                  David Duchovny
3. Sara Norgen                            The Bridge                           Sofia Helin
4. Birgitte Nyborg                       Borgen                                 Sidse Babette Knudsen
5. Alec Hardy                                Broadchurch                     David Tennant
6. Frank Underwood                 House of Cards                 Kevin Spacey
7. Christopher Foyle                  Foyle’s War                        Michael Kitchen
8. Frank Tagliano                        Lilyhammer                       Steven Van Zandt
9. Lorne Malvo                             Fargo                                    Billy Bob Thornton
10. Nucky Thompson               Boardwalk Empire          Steve Buscemi

Home Grown

1. Nina Proudman                     Offspring                              Asher Keddie
2. Cleaver Greene                      Rake                                       Richard Roxburg
3. Janet King                              Janet King                             Marta Dusseldorp
4. Lucian Blake                          Dr Blake Mysteries             Craig Maclachlan
5. Lewis Crabb                           House Husbands                Gary Sweet
6. Luce Tivoli                              The Time of Our Lives       Shane Jacobson
7. Jack Duncan                          A Place to Call Home        Craig Hall
8. Ted McCabe                           Old School                             Sam Neill
9. Clarke                                       Clarke and Dawe                 John Clarke
10. Cora Benson                       The Moodys                           Jane Harber

David Dale article – Part 1 = http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/blogs/the-tribal-mind/these-are-the-best-international-characters-on-australian-tv-20140816-3dsxx.html

– Part 2 = http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/blogs/the-tribal-mind/the-10-best-australian-characters-on-australian-tv-20140823-3e6f0.html

We laughed. We laughed till there were tears streaming, did Leigh, reclining opposite, as well as I. We probably fed a bit off each other – proving again how our senses of humour are usually in tune. We surely missed at least ten minutes of the show, holding our bellies till we could catch our breath – but a prolonged chortle is therapeutic. Proven fact. Billy will do that to one – as he has been doing for decades with his stand-up, movies and riding his three-wheeler to various locales for television. In this it was his tale of the ninety-degreed hunchback stiff and the issues that ensued trying to fit such a body into the narrow confines of a coffin – and the mayhem that developed when it all patently came unstuck during the viewing as the poor old bugger sprung upwards to attention. The way the Big Yin delivered it, in that lilting Scottish brogue he possesses, laughing along at the hilarity of it all, was, as always, priceless. It certainly defeated all the barriers I possess to uninhibited guffawry.

The topic of this ABC offering was something unavoidable, the thought of which we do not relish – death. This is not usually a topic redolent in levity – unless Billy Connolly  is your guide. But his journey to look at the excesses and strangenesses involved also possessed pathos, a liberal dose of sadness and that song. You know the one – the one that ranks Number 3 in the hit parade of tunes to be played as one’s ultimate send off. It’s the one that comforted Christ in the irreverent pisstake that was ‘The Life of Brian’ and, along with ‘The Lumberjack Song’, is the Monty’s greatest contribution to the history of music. It was delivered by a still fine voiced, twinkly eyed Eric Idle, with Billy accompanying.

Sadly, though, our Billy is, like the rest of us mere mortals, not indestructible. He’s been quiet of late on our screens and for good reason. In the one week he was diagnosed with both prostate cancer and Parkinsons – the latter by a Tasmanian specialist who happened to notice his unsteady gait whilst in transit at an airport. The prognoses aren’t as bad as they could have been and we are reliably informed that he’ll be around for a while yet – thanks be to She in the sky. Once ageless, our beloved Billy is now showing everyone of his seventy-two years. In ‘The Big Send-off’ that marvellous mane is now snowy white, his face drawn and he’s seemingly lost his physical bounce, but certainly not his verbal. A world without Billy doesn’t bear thinking about. In his eyes, though, there is still that sparkle, still a sprinkle of forever-dust. And with this small screen offering he is still deliciously delighted by the absurdities of life on this planet. Long will he continue to point them out for our benefit.

Now neither I, nor I suggest Billy, or even you, dear reader, can possibly know the time, exact setting or, to a lesser degree, the cause of our ultimate demise. But what if that were not the case? What if, indeed, it was a mere seven days away? The location was to be a sandy strand and you possessed a strong suspicion as to whom would be administering your coup de grace.. Then, knowing these facts, which don’t involve languishing on death row, what if added there was an out clause if so desired – a possibility of avoiding it – well, you would take the out, wouldn’t you? That, though, was not entirely a given in the magnificent Irish movie ‘Calvary’. It is a stunner. Here there’s Chris O’Dowd and Dylan Moran as you’ve never seen them before. I’ve waxed lyrical on the charms of Kelly Reilly in another recent blog and yet again, she lights up the screen in this. Towering above them all, though, is Brendan Gleeson, in surely what will become his signature role. As the village priest he is informed, in the confessional, that this is his last week on earth and is given the precise details of his date with the hereafter. Sounds illogical? No, there is a good reason, even if Father James has no record of the usual misdemeanours associated with men of the cloth. He’s guiltless – and that’s the point of the exercise.

The narrative follows him through his last remaining week and we meet all the likely suspects – what a mixed bag they are! He has some big decisions to make, does our good man of the church – and not all to do with the should I go or should I stay quandary. In some quarters ‘Calvary’ is being pushed as a comedic gem, but there’s not too much humour to be had in the way the movie concludes. I was stunned. The cinema-goers I shared it with were stunned. It was so powerful – but there was also redemption at hand as well. The ending was almost too much for this punter to bear – wait for it if you dare! But do see it if it comes a-calling near you.

The Trailer to ‘Calvary’ = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl4a7TIw6YM