All posts by stevestevelovellidau

Old Lady

My son and his partner recently visited the City of Love. As with many like souls who see their future as eternal togetherness, they made the journey to one of the bridges of locks across the Seine. Rich and Shan duly attached their commitment to each other. And now my lad’s beautiful partner is my daughter-in-law to be – to my great delight. And the rite of passage in placing a lock on a Parisian river crossing has a small, but significant, role to play in ‘My Old Lady’.

my old lady

Kevin Kline and Kristin Scott Thomas are two actors who, as they age, have taken on more ‘interesting’ roles, with the result that they’ve become even ‘sexier’. And as for the grand dame, Maggie Smith – well, has she ever been young? Of course, as the real star of the behemoth that is ‘Downton Abbey’, she is in her pomp. She gives any side project, such as this, true pulling power. She is a marvel.

‘My Old Lady’ is basically a three-hander featuring those three thespians – quite a stage-y one, betraying its origins. One assumes at the start that this Israel Horowitz offering will be a droll comedy revolving around a French law that complicates property inheritance. It seems that when destitute, bedraggled Mathias (Kline) discovers he is heir to prime Parisian real estate he reckons all his Christmases have come at once. Thanks to the law, all is not as straight forward as it seems for, with it, comes a non-evictable tenant in nonagenarian Mathilde (Smith). Also in residence is her life-disappointed daughter, Chloe (Scott Thomas). Once the set up is done with, we soon enter darker territory as it emerges their links to each other are much deeper than the trio could possibly imagine. There are bursts of humour throughout to alleviate the downward spiral in tone, the latter thanks to the ever increasing self-loathing of the younger duo. One returns to the bottle, the other gives a lover the flick. Then, a decision has to be made – so enters a bridge of locks and Hollywood pap.

myoldlady

This effort will please those of us who like to leave a cinema with a smile on our faces. There was, though, provision here, given the set up, for a little more straying from the predictable, thus producing a more compelling piece. Still, the movie is time well spent staring up at a silver screen. The three old stagers can do this sort of stuff in their sleep – it is no stretch to their actorly bona fides. Looking at the still beauteous Ms Scott Thomas, I certainly wasn’t disappointed with it.

my-old-lady

‘My Old Lady’ trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck35r6E4VRM

Cookie of Hahndorf

Bill Nietzsche was sitting back in a favourite recliner – one he’d bought over from the old place when he and Dora had downsized – there was no way he was going to be parted with it. Downsized – another new word he had picked up from the younger people about town – many who’d done exactly that to move to this idyll in the Hills. Of course, with Bill being well into his eighties now, most he encountered on his daily perambulation were indeed younger than he. There were other expressions he had only come across in recent times – ‘having a tree change’ or ‘going down the Fleurieu for a sea-change’. He thought how curious it was that language changed with each new generation. Even some of his oldest mates had said those last words as they packed up to be closer to the briny. That’s not for him. He reckoned the summers were too hot down there and he was too ancient to be immersing himself in salty water – even if he was an old sea salt. When they’d ‘downsized’ it’d been to only around the corner. Their old abode had been down in the gully by the river – now they were in some units, right in town. They had help come in at regular intervals to support them, especially now as Dora was largely confined to a wheel chair. He still managed her okay, but he could see it wouldn’t be too long before she was beyond him. That didn’t bear pondering on too heavily. He preferred to be positive – upbeat.

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He did enjoy his decades by the river though – something so soothing are his memories about that. It was really only a creek, the Onkaparinga, with a few big water holes at various spots. When he was a lad it was where all the kids dashed to after school on summer afternoons. It was where, later, he courted his Thelma. She was a striking looking young filly back then. He went on to love her dearly till her death some dozen or so years past. They had a passionate romance before he decided he needed to see the world. That was simple to do back then. He just went down to Port Adelaide and found a job on a freighter. In the end he didn’t see that much more than the galleys of a number of ships, but it was a good life. Thelma swore she’d be still waiting for him once he got the wanderlust out of his system. She was true to her word. He’d had a few adventures in several ports around the world with the womenfolk, but Thelma’s constant letters soon enough reminded him that he could do no better than the lass who was waiting back home. A Lutheran wedding followed. He had sown his wild seeds – his married life had been bliss. But going to sea gave him the nickname he’s lived with all these years. Most wouldn’t know his birth name at all. To all in the town he was Cookie.

He hooked up with Dora soon after Thelma passed away. It seemed sensible. He’d known her for yonks. Her hubby and he had been good mates, but he’d died back in the nineties. He and Dora had never been intimate. Too old for hanky-panky, they’d agreed. He thought it would sully his memory of Thelma, so he was happy with that. Dora was a kindly, mothering soul. He’d had a few comfortable years with her before her health had deteriorated and they realised maintaining the old place was beyond them. Now she can’t leave the unit under her own steam, but she seems happy enough. She still has her books – loves to read in their little court-yard when it’s not too warm, or too chilly. Occasionally he wheels her out, down to the main drag, but that takes it out of him these days.

He likes the evenings here. His chair has its back to the television. He reckons it isn’t worth watching these days with all those ads. Dora has a stack of favourite shows. He likes the ABC but wouldn’t get a look in in any case. No, he was content to look down John’s Lane from his window perch. He thinks, snoozes and remembers. He partakes of a few ales in doing so and figures life is, all in all, still worth the effort

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The help had been in earlier – showered Dora and tidied up a bit. She’d sprayed some stuff around the place that smelt of pine needles. It took him back to his time in Scandinavia and a blonde he’d come to know there – the only one that in any way could have been a match for Thelma. Still, it turns out she’d been quite easy with a few other sailors too when they’d come into port, so he’d thought better of it at the time. He’d wondered what life would have been like had he’d taken the plunge with her. He liked Stockholm – cool, friendly, good beer and that blonde. She spoke English hardly at all, but they figured it out well enough. Thinking about her makes Cookie ache just a little for the love-making he had with her, but more so in spades with Thelma. When she wrapped herself around Bill ‘Cookie’ Nietzsche, all was right with the world.

‘As for this day,’ he mused, ‘well this particular day has been pretty plurry good. Fitzy, from the Gulf Brewery around in Main Street, had called in with a couple of six packs of his brews – gratis of course. I normally just drink Coopers, but his are pretty spot on too. He calls it craft beer and reckons craft beers are all the rage now down in the flash restaurants in Adelaide. I wouldn’t know, but if they’re anything like Fitzy’s, they’re on a winner. The brewer came up from the city a few years back to tap into the tourist trade. My two lads had built his shop. When he said he wanted to know about the history of Hahndorf, well they introduced him to me. I reckon I’ve missed my vocation. I should have been one of them tourist guides. I’ve heard a couple of them spruiking about the place around at the Academy, where the tours start from. They don’t do a bad job, know their stuff, but they haven’t the passion for the place. To them it’s just a way to earn a crust. I’ve lived thorough much of what they drone on about. Yep, I’d be pretty good I reckon.

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Like with that couple I was talking to today. I bumped into them out the front of the German Arms. Used to be a great pub once, but its gone all ‘Bavarian’ to cash in on the dopey mugs who wouldn’t know a real German pub if they fell over it. Anyway, these two were looking up into the rafters of the Arms’ veranda. There was a mass of pigeons up there squabbling around, making a hell of a racket. Told them what I thought of the bloody pigeons. I said I’d been on to the council for years about them. They’re just vermin. No earthly good. Anyway I got chatting to this couple, as I do. They asked about myself and how long I’d been in Hahndorf. Well, they were like lambs to the slaughter. I gave them the whole shebang. She seemed interested – he had a fancy camera around his neck and he soon wandered across to the Pioneer Gardens and started snapping away over there. To give the council their due, the Gardens do look a treat these days – but the idiots didn’t allow enough room for the buses to manoeuvre around. They come up from the old people’s homes down on the plain. The old dears have a bit of a walk to use them fancy new loos. And don’t get me started on the blessed speed bumps they seem intent on placing every few hundred yards down the main drag – and those senseless roundabouts. Dear me!

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Anyway, her hubby, or partner, or whatever, seemed happy enough pointing his camera here, there and everywhere so I took the opportunity to tell her about us Nietzsches of the Hills. I told her how my people came out on the original boat bringing religious refugees fleeing persecution in East Prussia, way back in the 1830’s. The ‘Zebra’ she was. I spoke of its Captain – a fella called Hahn after who the town is named. ‘Dorf’ means town, I informed her. What a good man that bloke was. Went out of his way and arranged all this land up here for the settlers. Most would of just dumped them dockside and gone about their business. Not Captain Hahn. He is revered in these parts. Course it was a fair old hike down to the markets on the plain, but they were tough buggers back then – especially the women and kids. It was a hard life for my ancestors. As a result of it all this place is still the most German town in the country, even if many of the old families have dispersed since then – off on a sea-change. Silly fools I reckon. When I was a lad it was all timber getting and agriculture. Now, in summer, you can’t move in the place for blighters who want their fill of sausage, sauerkraut and beer. But it keeps the place viable I reckon and blood oath, I’ve had some good chats over the years as a result. One thing I do like doing is having a yak.

Cookie of Hahndorf was quite taken by the woman he was chatting to. He reckoned she was somewhere in her early fifties and she was just lovely. Reminded him of his Thelma. She had a dazzling smile and was obviously up for a chinwag as well. He could tell she was a people person – her fellow not so much. He confided in her that since he’d moved to Johns Lane these morning walks of his were the highlight of his day, especially if he met up with someone like her. That gave her a good laugh, he reflected.

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Reckon she was a bit of all right,’ Cookie, in turn, chuckled to himself. ‘Once upon a time I would have turned her head too – but not these days. I told her of my dodgy ticker, part of the reason we had to give away our home by the river. About how I’d had a couple of ops already. The lovely lady told me she had been a theatre nurse back in Tassie and we had quite a discussion about that. I told her about my seafaring days – how once I’d finished to come back to Thelma I took up in the family business. We’d been builders for several generations and my old dad was still alive back then. He was also a Bill, – lots of other Bill Nietzsches around then too – he employed my two brothers and later myself. I reckon we would have built about half the homes around these parts, I chewed her ear. We worked all the way up the old highway, from down in Bridgewater right to Mount Barker itself. When tourism really took off we gained a nice little earner tarting up the shop-fronts on Main Street. Most of the old retailers had been long gone and their shops left empty, but now the place is thriving. I’m too old now, of course, but every so often my lads will pick up Dora and myself, take us around, showing us what they’re working on at the minute. They are proud of their commitment to standards, just as I was back in my day. Some of these cowboys that run around town doing stuff on the cheap makes you want to weep. Their work, in the end, always lets them down. There’s no substitute for quality.

The lady then told me about her old place by the Derwent in Hobart – how much she and – well I think she said Steve – love it, how much she’d done to it over the years. She seemed just so interested in all I had to say. I was enjoying myself. A woman like her – well I could have stayed on that corner and yarned the morning away – but her fellow seemed anxious to move on. I said my farewells and started to head off. But he stopped me, reached out his hand and shook mine. I gave him points for that. And judging by the affection he showed in taking her hand in his as they walked off, I also reckon he knows full well how lucky he is to have someone in his life like her. Oh dear, she reminded me so much of Thelma. Gawd, if I am not careful I’ll get a little maudlin here. But she did make my day.’

Old Cookie of Hahndorf took another sip of Fitzy’s fancy beer and closed his eyes. The tele was humming away softly in the background when he woke with a start. He looked around and could see Dora was contentedly dozing. He started thinking of his plans for the new day tomorrow. He’d saunter off to the news-agency, as he usually did, around nine-ish, to pick up his papers. It was a bit of a struggle for him these days, but knew he had to exercise and he never knew who he might meet en route that’d be up for a chat. He thought of the warmth of the day just past – how summer was on the way. Then sometimes there would be days just too hot for him away from the unit. He reckoned if he could make it and felt okay in himself the next day he might wander up to the ice-creamery and have a kransky for brekkie. They did the best sausages in town by a long shot, did Gio and his daughter. They ran the little eatery. Italians cooking German tucker – what next? Plus, if he wasn’t busy, Gio would give him all the gossip going on around the place. Kept his ear to the ground, did Gio – and his daughter was a sweetheart. Why she hadn’t been picked up by some fellow by now was a mystery to him. If he wasn’t quite up for the longer walk he’d head to Herbees, as was his usual practice. He couldn’t make it up the front steps any more so he’d go to the back door and in through the living quarters. It was run by a lovely Vietnamese family these days. Again, if it was quiet the mum or one of the daughters would sit down with him for a coffee. On these days he usually had it on the house. He loved the eggs and salmon they dished up. It was his regular order. They were lovely, those women – reminded him of a girl, once upon a time, who was especially good to him when he docked in a certain spot up the Mekong years and years ago. One thing, he’d had a few adventures, a few trysts that kept him warm at night thinking about them. Cookie likes learning of the life in Vietnam before the war from the mother, as well as hearing what the girls were up to. Both have boyfriends down in the city and were never in the cafe at the weekends, so he didn’t bother going in then when the place was usually full to the gunnels. Of a week it wasn’t so all hands on deck. These foreigners are all good for the place, Cookie reckons – makes his blood boil what Abbott and his mates are doing to the poor beggars who try to get here these days. The country seems to have lost its heart.

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Yep,’ thought Cookie, ‘the place is full of people from all over the world who now call the town and its surrounds home. Some of the original families, like himself, still remain, but these blow-ins make life just so much more interesting. And meeting that Tassie lass, having Fitzy deliver around those ales, hearing the parrots in the trees, having my boys bring the grandkids around – well you wouldn’t be dead for quids. Now there’s a couple of pretty new sheilas working in the Menz choccy shop, so I am told on reliable authority. Might just wander up there on the morrow too. Reckon Dora could do with a treat.’

The Gulf Brewery = http://www.gulfbrewery.com.au/

Menz Chocolates = http://robernmenz.com.au/about_us/store_details

Herbees Garden Cafe = https://www.facebook.com/pages/HERBEES-CAFE/250343621673705

Ye Olde Ice-creamery (for Kranskies) = http://www.yelp.com.au/biz/ye-olde-icecreamery-hahndorf

Antonio and Hector Searching For Happiness

I can remember doing it in the pre-digital age, back when I was an analogue man – still am largely that really. To do it in those years the technology, sufficient for reproduction, was unwieldy for my purposes. These days it’s so simple for those who know what they are doing. In days of yore it involved constantly rewinding tape, or repeatedly lifting and carefully lowering a stylus onto vinyl. That’s how one attained lyrics once upon a time. I needed the actual words of songs for several reasons – to prove a point over possible mondegreens; for my personal pleasure in having the words so I could uptake a hair-brush and sing along (you wouldn’t have wanted to be there). But definitely the most significant purpose was to utilise them for teaching purposes – usually to provide kids with ‘poetry’ they could relate to. Something playing on the airwaves for them surely beat verse scribed a few centuries beforehand. My hope was, with the more intelligent of any given cohort, they would then eventually seek out the great wordsmiths of the past for themselves. But then, I was teaching to notionally English as a first language speakers – it being also the language of the vast majority of ‘hits’ they gyrated around to. Imagine had I been a Spanish (or of any other nationality for that matter) pedagogue trying to use the same technique to teach English to kiddies who spoke a different tongue?

Eventually some bright spark decided it would be beneficial for all to actually include the lyrics with the product, a common practice today – and then there’s always the ether. It now seems that forward thinking type was none other than John Lennon. And this is how it all happened.

The story is told in ‘The Living is Easy With Eyes Closed’, an Iberian Peninsula production centred around a Spanish teacher, Antonio, attempting to instruct his flock English through the words of a Liverpool based quartet, of which John Lennon just happened to be a member. Antonio took a journey to a nondescript burg in the south of his country – a trip that solved his problem, as well as that of yours truly. For the bespectacled informer of young people, it was also a journey to happiness – or so he imagined.

LIVING-IS-EASY

Hector, on the other hand, had his life imploding all around him. He was in a rut as deep as the Grand Canyon. With his whole existence micromanaged by mothering, smothering girlfriend Clara (Rosamund Pike) and his workday as a London psychiatrist dominated by weirdo patients, something had to give. He was showing distinct signs of losing the plot, culminating in Hector (Simon Pegg) blowing his gasket big time. Calming down, he decides he is miserable and has to ‘find himself’ – or at least find a happy side to life. To more fully understand the nebulous nature of an emotion largely unknown to him, ol’ Hec decides the answer lies at the four corners of the planet and he has to ‘go find’. Can he achieve it with a gorgeous Chinese lover (Ming Zhao) he meets in Shanghai; a Buddhist monk (Togo Igawa) living atop of a mountain; by doing good works in Africa or maybe by chasing down an old flame (Toni Collette) in LA?

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Of the two offerings, the Spanish affair was the pick. Perhaps ‘Hector and the Search for Happiness’ had too much of a kinship to ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, with that colouring my view. I certainly didn’t find it ‘…a rich, exhilarating and hilarious tale.’ as the publicity blurb indicated I would. There were some engaging touches, such as Hector’s propensity to break out his animation chops at various stages. I also enjoyed the performance of Barry Atsma as the not so jaded businessman – the one who shows our hero the pleasures of the Orient. Pike was spunky in her screen time, but I feel Pegg is better suited to chasing aliens and zombies around the countryside. And of course the ending sticks out like a sore thumb. For all his meanderings around the planet the audience soon figures what would truly give the ‘idiot abroad’ true happiness – if only he can think it through for himself.

A far more affecting performance is put in by Javier Cámara as Antonio. He’s nobody’s idea as a handsome leading man, but there is a certain aura about him that some actors, not blessed by manly beauty, can attain. This hero’s life, apart from the joys of teaching, holds little else for him. He is not as blessed as Hector by having an easy on the eye woman in his orb – or even an uneasy one for that matter. For him Lennon is the way out of the rut – and the mop-top just happens to be making a film in his country. Thus he undertakes a journey to pose to him his conundrum. En route he picks up a couple of lost souls – teenage Juanjo (Francesc Colomer ) is at war with his parents and pregnant Belén (Natalia de Molina) is proposed to by Antonio – but he has no hope. Spanish life, at the time, was constrained by the twin towers of Franco and the Catholic church. The film reflects this, but also the resilience of the Spanish populace who manage to survive and display a joie de vivre despite the oppression. Unlike our chalkie, we as audience never get to meet Lennon – but really he’s not needed. Antonio is the real star of this piece. It’s the movie of the two that possesses that fragile commodity of ‘heart’. Dear reader, you can believe every word of fulsome praise the critics have lauded it with. ‘Hector…’, despite its failings, is far from two hours of ill-spent time. The Peter Chelsom helmed product does, though, lack the inherent easy charm David Trueba manages with his sub-titled offering. I know which gave me the greatest happiness!

‘The Living is Easy with Eyes Closed’ trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO1jXG38XbM

‘Hector and the search for Happiness’ trailer = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DELCgkntuvw

Melbourne Musings – a Tale of Two Hamburgians

Let’s call him Horst. He was a bright, lively, lithe young man who was the sole soul behind the counter of the Crocs retail outlet down in the basement of the new Emporium complex. This aggregation of shops is to be found in the stead of the old Little Bourke Street Myers. As a retail venue it was recommended to us by our mate Brother Jim as a must see for our recent visit to Yarra City. For my tastes, initially, it looked too upmarket, but Darling Loving Partner was keen to visit its shiny interior. And inside, to my delight, we did find a cornucopia of delights.

SONY DSCSummer Crocs Display

Apart from a few old favourites, the centre of Old Bearbrass has held little appeal for me in terms of its offerings for shopping, particularly now as Hobs has had for some time its own JBs. It’s full of the same global franchises to be found in any capital on the planet. No, this shopper has always preferred the more eclectic appeal of the strips such as Acland, Smith, Brunswick and Clarendon/Coventry for his retail kicks. But once inside the Emporium that changed. Sure the same generics were there, but it, together with the accompanying Strand, seemed both less pretentious and frenetic than its rivals, two qualities off-putting for me. We were soon spending money. We were also impressed with the fit-out that has occurred across the road in the old GPO to accommodate the behemoth that is the Swedish experience H and M – worth taking in for the visuals and the accommodating pricing.

But back to the Emporium where the Croc Shop really caught my eye – mainly because of the display of unCroc-like sandals on show. Soon DLP was in there trying on summery foot attire. And this is where Horst came into the frame. Once DLP had made her choice, she and Horst teamed up to work their considerable combined charm on me. ‘Come on, you know you love them,’ they cajoled in unison. I have been a recent convert to the comforts of Crocs so, once a generous discount was on offer, I was putty in their hands. DLP purchased a pair featuring real leather for me.
She is so generous my love.

As you do, because the little outlet was hardly flushed with customers, we got to chatting with Horst. He hailed from Hamburg, was studying in Oz and very homesick – seemingly at odds with his professed urge to get out of Germany for a while. He was enjoying Melbourne, but reckoned Byron was the place to be for him. He was underwhelmed by his visit to Tassie -‘down there the people don’t talk to you.’ he opined. Eventually other potential victims to his talents entered and we made our departure, delighted with our purchases and that we’d come across such a charming chap.

Let’s call her Helga. She was bright, lively and lithe. She served us our tucker at Clover and Rye, an eatery on Bridge Road (410) in Richmond, again recommended by Brother Jim. And a fine recommendation it was too. I’d read that this area, a haven for DFOs, was struggling. But on a Friday eve the restaurants in this sector of it seemed to be thriving. In the case of Clover and Rye, its popularity was certainly because of its very fine fare. The paella delivered to me by the fair Helga was ace. DLP and Brother Jim were similarly complimentary about their chosen dishes. And the lovely Helga was certainly an attractive asset to the place as well. She was in the early throes of working her way around Oz and was looking forward to experiencing my island’s wilderness. But first she had to earn some dosh to make that possible – thus her presence attending to our culinary needs. She’d been to Sydney already and found the Emerald City very much to her liking – but as for Melbourne? So far it wasn’t too positive. She was underwhelmed by her time in the city on the brown river- ‘Here the people don’t talk to you.’ she opined. Then she let slip she was also from a certain German city – and DLP’s eyes lit up.

SONY DSCHelga (left) with colleagues

My wonderful lady couldn’t help herself. She described, in most alluring fashion, a certain young man we had met in the bowels of the Emporium and hinted that maybe the fair Helga should seek him out. DLP was matchmaking. When Helga asked her to repeat exactly where Horst was to be found, DLP knew she was on to a possibility.

Of course we’ll never know if that will actually happen – whether she will take the Number 48 into the city and seek him out. But my DLP is content in the knowledge that there is a remote chance of two Hamburgians finding happy ever-afters thanks to her assistance.

Staff at Clover and Rye with ‘Helga’ on the Left

DLP chose the city on the Yarra rather than the city on the Harbour for our pre-Christmas excursion to the Mainland. She’s grown to appreciate its attributes in recent times, plus there was the chance to catch up with some of her mates – Brother Jim and Judy. The former took us to his Hawthorn (pity he’s Collingwood through and through) community and we were privileged to view his stupendous place of worship. It was quite gobsmacking. Later we dined with him again at our regular haunt, the Spaghetti Tree (59 Bourke). For me it has just great lasagne served in a lusty amount. This Saturday night the place was pumping. Yes, the music was a little loud, but at least it references the classics rather than thumpa-thumpa.

Our other dining experience was Tsindos (197 Lonsdale) and in deference to DLP, I will not go into too much detail about the attractive elan of our Cypriot-Pakistani waiter – except to say he was outstanding in attentiveness given the place was extremely busy. The fare here was also great. My mixed grill was almost heaven. DLP’s calamari was indeed so.

I did enjoy this trip across the Strait. As well as luxuriating in DLP’s presence at my side, our hostelry in Little Bourke Street, the Mercure, was adequate. The room came with a great view down the guts of China Town and that was a plus. The twin exhibitions of Jean Paul Gaultier and David Shrigley, at the NGV St Kilda Road, were both ultra-impressive for very different reasons. They are well worth a visit if Melbourne is a destination over the festive season. Acland Cakes (97) tempted DLP with one of its luscious treats and we discovered a very fine pub in our wanderings along Smith Street, the Grace Darling (114). If a visit to the South Melbourne Markets is on your itinerary when next in that part of the world, try breakfasting across the road from it at the retro Bunyip Café (313 Coventry).

For DLP and I it was a hectic four days in Yarra City. We were both relatively stuffed on our return. We are starting to know the importance of pacing ourselves but, that being said, I can’t wait to get back there in ’15. And maybe, just maybe, ’15 will be a very romantic year for Helga and Horst.SONY DSC

The new Melbourne Emporium  = http://www.emporiummelbourne.com.au/?gclid=CPDl7M-elMICFRYIvAod3RUAZA

Clover and Rye = http://www.cloverandrye.com.au/

The Grace Darling = http://thegracedarlinghotel.com.au/

The Bunyip Cafe = https://www.facebook.com/BunyipCafe

The Spaghetti Tree = http://www.spaghettitree.com.au/

A Mistress at the Library

He wrote of her:
‘The day when a woman who passes in front of you and gives off light as she walks you are lost, you are in love. There is only one thing to do: think of her so intently that she is forced to think of you.’

She wrote of him:
There can be no happiness greater than that I enjoyed this afternoon with you, clasped in your arms, your voice mingling with mine, your eyes in mine, your heart upon my heart, our very souls melded together. For me there is no man on earth but you.’

On a chilsome winter’s afternoon I turned a page in my daily Age and there she was – a glorious woman staring back at me. I was taken by her and went to the words to see what she was about. Alas she was only mentioned in passing – she was a great man’s mistress. It was all about him, the subject of a new exhibition at the State Library of Victoria. I took, as is my wont and pleasure these days, to the ether to discover more about the dazzling creature that captured my eye that afternoon. So, loving that Yarra City repository of books, I contemplated a jaunt to Melbourne to view yet another showing within its walls.

drouet02

Victoria’s premier library is a fabulous place to be. From its expansive portico it is possible to sit and relax, observing the passing parade up and down the top end of Swanston. It is in its interior that the treasures lie – books ancient, our infamous criminal’s armour and the marvellous reading room. The latter, viewed from above, is indeed one of the city’s best sights. In total the contents can hold one in its thrall for hours. But sadly, in the end, I decided against yet another trip to Old Bearbrass. It would be silly to initiate a venture on the single etching of a comely illustrious man’s lover!

reading room

The centrepiece of the exhibition, featuring her, contained a French national treasure, rarely leaving that country – the original manuscript to Les Misérables. That very production was concurrently running on a stage somewhere in the metropolis – a double-header then perhaps? No, I’d viewed a local effort, which surprised me by being remarkably entertaining – but I am not big on iconic musicals, so again the notion was dismissed. The great man referred to is of course Victor Hugo. His story has been told countless times – but what of this woman who careered into his orb and knocked him for six?

She is described in an account of the times as a ‘...delicate beauty; the nose chiselled and of handsome outline, the eyes limpid and diamond bright, the mouth moistly crimson, and tiny, even in her gayest fits of laughter.‘ She was also a most mediocre actress, but it was her reputation as a fashion plate, in the manner of today’s supermodels, that set her apart – that and her succession of lovers. Of these there were too many to count – and that gilded her reputation, for better or worse. On an equal footing with the beds of her enamoured beaux, she adored casinos and thus was constantly in debt. She was quixotic. She was quicksilver. She was Juliette Drouet. And here’s what the ether told me of her.

Julienne (she tweaked with her given names to suit her purposes) was born in humble circumstances in France, in 1806. She was soon to be separated from her parents, Julien and Marie Gauvain, Raised by her uncle, René Drouet, she changed her name to his as her stage fame grew. She was described as an intelligent but precocious child with teenagerdom finding her a stunning and vibrant beauty as well. At a very tender age she caught the eye of sculptor James Pradier who became a father figure to her, as well as her first known lover. She posed naked for him, inspiring much of his oeuvre. But when life became far too tiresome for the worldly miss, he encouraged her to embrace acting to gain a focus for her energy. She was a shocker at it, she truly was – but her radiant looks ensured her continuous parts – as well as many shared beds, particularly if their owners could enhance her prospects. She believed it to be far too beneath her to be loyal to just one paramour – she had them simultaneously – all over Paris.

pradier

Toto, her nickname for Hugo, first came across her in 1833 when she was cast in his stage adaptation of the story of Lucrezia Borgia. Juliette still retained her plebeian enunciation of the French language and couldn’t act to save herself – but Hugo saw the way her very presence lit up his stage. She was hypnotic and thus he was soon besotted. He’d just discovered his childhood sweetheart and now wife, Adele, had done the dirty on him and so, poor man, he was very vulnerable. Juliette saw her chance and took it. She was also besotted, not by him so much as his fame – at least initially.

In her welcoming arms Hugo felt newborn and soon his ardour was being passionately reciprocated. First she fell for the trappings, but was soon truly in love. She became the epitome of the kept woman. To indicate what this meant at the time, there is much parallel between her situation and that of Dicken’s mistress, Nelly Ternan. The recent movie ‘The Invisible Woman’ describes Nelly’s lot once she, too, became ‘kept’. It could be a stultifying, desultory existence. Drouet bore it all to have time with Hugo.

hugo

He set her up in a residence near his family home, a place she never ventured from unless accompanied by or to meet her man. This they would try to do daily at a tree halfway between the two abodes. In it letters were left when it was impossible to have a face to face encounter. Fortunately many of their epistles of devotion to each other have remained for posterity. She went with Hugo on his long literary tours in the guise as his secretary, so it wasn’t all bad. Later in life Juliette accompanied him into exile in 1852, to the Channel Islands, when Victor chose the wrong side in one of France’s frequent political upheavals. Unfortunately she’d also given her Toto a taste for affairs so he was not faithful at all to her. They also quarrelled incessantly over her profligate spending – he was quite thrifty. But for Juliette Hugo remained her ‘perfect man’, her ‘...marvel of all the ages.’ She remained the ‘…lowly woman that adores you.’

Drouet died in Paris having attained the age of seventy-seven. Two years later her Toto passed. Six months before her demise she wrote to him – ‘I do not know where I will be this time next year but I am happy to sign my life certificate for 1883 with this one (sic) word: I love you.’

drouet01

Juliette in later life

State Library of Victoria website = http://www.slv.vic.gov.au/

Growing Old With Sam de B and The Judge

My Darling Loving Partner has done a wonderful job, over the years, transforming our house by the river – new roof, new floorings, new carpet, new built-ins – all done with her impeccable taste, made possible by a perceptive eye for colour and detail. Why, she’s even created for me the pure joy of a man cave, to make my life totally complete. And she has not finished. She has plans. The rear of the kitchen is in her sights. It is to be extended out to add some spaciousness. Then there’s the bathroom – but that does have me a tad concerned, dear reader.

In his regular column for my favourite former broadsheet, Sam de Brito recently riffed on the displeasures of growing older in ‘The Humiliations of Ageing’. For those of us in the autumnal years, as if we didn’t already know, he considerately lists such blows to one’s already fragile ego as ‘…when you go for a haircut now, your barber asks you pleasantly if you’d like your eyebrows done as well.’ and ‘Glancing up, you glimpse a crusty old fat bloke looking at you from the adjoining shop window and jolt with the realisation it’s you.’ But for Sam de B, the ugly reality of advancing years is measured by the increasing difficulties associated with, in the bleary-eyed, possibly hung-overed early morning hours, of attending to one’s lower garments. In other words, getting them on. He refers to undies, boxers and shorts. S de B cites examples of some serious indignities, even injuries, occurring when misjudgements are made, due to haste and lack of balance, associated with the difficult manoeuvres needed to emerge fully clothed in the area of the bottom half. It is indeed, as he desired, chortle inducing reading – if only it wasn’t such a common affliction for men around my age.

sam-debrito.

But, proudly. I have that all sorted. My foolproof method – with heavy emphasis on the ‘fool’ bit – is to place said garment flat on the floor, then, one at a time, wriggle/creep each foot into each said opening, then reach down and pull up. Simple. It’s when jeans or trousers are involved that my method comes up sorely lacking. I had found myself regularly crashing into furniture or, worse, face-planting a horizontal surface formerly positioned under my feet. Socks provided similar consternation – and it was then I discovered the secondary usefulness of our bathroom’s basin/benchtop – thus my concerns at my gorgeous lady’s plans.

Now my DLP is not satisfied with this essential item’s height. In her reckoning it needs to be raised a good couple of inches so bending down, almost in half, before it is no longer a necessity. On the contrary, I find it just peachy when it comes to satisfactorily coming to grips with the problems two socks and long-legged pants cause me. You see, at its height now I can place my posterior gently on the lip of the unit, carefully leaning back into it as socks or trousers are raised up my two appendages. In doing so, all danger of toppling over is thus eliminated. If it was raised higher, then the snugness of the fit is lost. It would spell potential disaster. I would need to resort to adopting the ‘commando roll’ method Sam advises – and what a most unedifying sight that would make. That is not to be confused with ‘going commando’. I would never succumb to that temptation as it is the longer form of attire that causes most angst. But, I guess, as a foil to concussion, the ‘roll’ it would have to be. The problem is not going to go away, so for now I have a fall back plan, but what of the future?

That was bought home to me through accompanying DLP to view ‘The Judge’ – a very fine cinema piece currently on offer at most multiplexes. It features Robert Downey Jr in the sort of role he now has down (good play on words there) pat. He’s a smarmy, cynical, wise-cracking defence lawyer noted for getting the seriously guilty off the hook. His mother’s death sees him reluctantly returning home to Hicksville, USA to confront his past. Estranged for some time from his father, the town’s judge, he soon notes all is not as it should be with his old man. Age has seriously diminished him in more ways that one – and is compounded when he is accused of killing the local scumbag in hit and run style. As the crusty, newly vulnerable old bugger, Robert Duvall is mesmerising. In narrative terms the story has been done over and over – pretty soon you know how it’ll all work out and Hollywood doesn’t let you down. The magic of this piece is in the performances, particularly by the venerable Duvall. It is hard to imagine he’s well into his eighties now. We have all watched him age on screen over the years. It gives pause for thought to realise he might not be able to be up there for much longer. He still possesses serious acting chops, but then, as an ensemble piece, this movie takes a bit of beating.

Judge

There’s a blast from the past as far as Downey’s character Henry Palmer’ s love life is concerned with his high school sweetheart, Samantha Power, now quite the local entrepreneur out to charm and dazzle. She’s engagingly played by Vera Farmiga, an actress who, unlike the rest of us, seems to become more luscious as she heads towards her fifties and beyond. Very affecting are Henry’s two brothers, played by Vincent D’Onofrio and Jeremy Strong – and Billy Bob Thornton is effective as the imported prosecutor. The whole shebang is quite superb, even given the predictability of the outcome.

But it was the scene where Judge Palmer loses control of his bowels, in his son’s presence, that really got to me with this movie. That, Sam de B, is the real humiliation of ageing. Is that me in times to come – is that what lies ahead?

Mr de Brito’s musings on the pitfalls of the years passing, in terms of one’s battles with garments not really designed for those increasingly unsupple due to the ravages of lives well lived, is a delightful read. As for this scribbler – well Sam, I don’t really want to be one day like that dog you mentioned, farting and shuffling my way into the twilight and losing control. I want my sunset to be better than that. I suppose we all do.

Sam de Brito’s column = http://www.smh.com.au/comment/the-humiliations-of-ageing-20141029-11cxwi.html

Trailer for ‘The Judge’ = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRHXo8_PeZM